These days, young people’s relationships frequently struggle with the issue of love bombing. According to Forbes, the hashtag #lovebombing has 329 million views on TikTok. Are you suffering from over-attention from your new partner? Our comprehensive guide aims to reveal all the signs, reasons, and ways to deal with love bombing.
Key takeaways:
- Love bombing is a psychological deviation in the behavior of a partner, which is not normal in healthy relationships. When they give you too much attention and love and declare their feelings from the first days of the meeting, you are faced with a love bombing.
- There are three phases of love bombing in love affairs that you need to be aware of. The first is the Idealization phase, the second is the Devaluation phase, and the last is the Discard phase. Each of them has its own signs and reasons.
- To save and maintain a couple from overwhelming affection, it is necessary to acknowledge the problem first. There are key signs to look out for if you have doubts about your partner. Next, be prepared to take action to improve the situation.
🧐 Love Bombing Meaning
To define love bombing, it is correct to say that it refers to some kind of manipulation people use to satisfy their needs. From the very beginning of the relationship, you may get unexpected love declarations, romantic surprises, tender gestures, and pleasant signs of attention. “Love bombing then silent treatment” is the base of this abuse trick. As a result, one of the partners begins to feel over the top of such affection and falls into the trap of toxic bonds.
There are some reasons why people love bombing. One of them is narcissistic personality disorder. Individuals who have the problem may demand a lot of attention and admiration and have difficulty showing empathy. Such behavior may be the result of their childhood traumas.
What is love bombing in detail? Most often, it is an unconscious behavior of people. That is, some people are really into their relationships, but as they get used to comfort and feel secure, their behavior switches from normal to narcissistic.
🔊 Love bombers tend to rush things. They make you feel like you’ve found your soulmate. They create the illusion of a perfect romantic engagement and make great plans to keep you in their ideal vision of affairs. You like it and they know it. Things develop gradually and they have certain tactics. There are three main phases of love bombing that you should exactly learn to recognize such an affair. 👇🏻
1️⃣ Idealization phase
It usually refers to the beginning of a romantic interaction. The love bomber starts doing everything to gain your trust. They try to get your attention, evoke positive emotions, and let your guard down. You may feel like you have met the perfect partner who makes you happy. They show their feelings too often, praising you, giving you unnecessary gifts, and promising things that they won’t fulfill in the future.
2️⃣ Devaluation phase
Just when you feel comfortable in a relationship, you may notice warning signs soon. Your partner may start to control you in different ways. They may become more demanding of your time and get annoyed when you make plans without their presence. Love bombers also think it’s okay when they restrict you from spending time with friends and relatives. In the worst situations, these people might use violence and manipulation to persuade you to do what they want.
3️⃣ Discard phase
When you notice things aren’t going right, you will try to improve relationships, for example, through healthy conversations. But love bombers will do their best to avoid any discussions and compromises. Most likely, they will not agree with your complaints but instead end the romantic connection. This can make you feel confused, disoriented, or guilty.
If you’re experiencing a love bombing, it’s important to be honest with yourself about the situation. This behavior rarely improves on its own, and enabling it can result in devastating consequences for your well-being. Remember, it’s not your job to “save” the love bombers, and you cannot change this behavior without their desire.
💡 Main Signs to Identify Love Bombing
It is important to distinguish between abuse and healthy signs of attention. Pay attention to these signs of love bombing in a relationship to recognize manipulation.
🚩 Compulsive flattery
It’s okay to give and receive compliments when you are engaged in romance. But sometimes it becomes too much. Be careful of people who are too obvious about praising and idealizing you.
There are some love bombing phrases like: “I’ve never met anyone more beautiful than you,” “My life became perfect after you came along,” “We were made for each other,” and “You’re my soulmate.” It is normal to hear such words from the partner after some time of being in a relationship, but not during the first days of your interaction. It is one of the red flags of unhealthy infatuation.
🚩 Extravagant gifts
One of the love bombing examples is giving expensive gifts to show their generosity and attention. At first, such a partner seems perfect, but you need to be careful. A person may give you presents not only to please you but also to make you feel obliged to stay in touch with them. Later, the manipulator may blame you for not appreciating their gifts or demand more gratitude.
🚩 The fast development of the relationship
If you quickly become comfortable with someone, that’s a good thing. On the other hand, even though you recently met, declarations of love, offers to move in together, and marriage are red flags. The person is trying to influence you as quickly as possible by doing this.
🚩 Excessive control
When manipulative romantics understand you are comfortable with them, they can demand a lot of attention. Saying, “I want to be next to you always,” or making an hourly phone call are just two examples. They explain this away as excitement or worry. This is how your personal boundaries are gradually erased.
It is also worth asking yourself: “Am I love bombing?” If you have noticed the below-described signs in your behavior, it is recommended that you look for help from psychologists.
👫 Can Relationship Survive after Love Bombing?
Yes, it can be possible if you have a great desire to be with the person you consider a worthy partner for you. There are some solutions to overcome emotional manipulation and vain love expressions.
- Set boundaries. If you suspect that you are facing love bombing, try to set boundaries at the beginning. For example, you can say that the relationship is moving too fast and you don’t feel comfortable with it. It is advisable to refuse some unnecessary gifts or limit the time you spend with your partner. It will help slow things down and see if they have heard your request. If your words have been ignored, it’s best to break up.
- Find support. You can ask someone for help. For example, talk to a friend or close person. This will help you get a fresh perspective on your partner and realize the kind of person you are interacting with.
🗝 Summing – up
Love bombing is the compulsive behavior of a person in a relationship with the goal of manipulating. It can be caused by mental disorders and, more specifically, narcissistic tendencies. Depending on how you feel about your partner, you may be able to treat your bonds or go separate ways. Hopefully, the recommendations below will help you.
Victoria Davis is highly sought-after dating coach with a passion for helping individuals find love and build meaningful connections. She graduated from university and soon understood that teaching is not what she wants to devote her life to. Once Victoria realized a strong passion for coaching, she started to help clients develop self-confidence, improve their communication skills, and navigate the complexities of modern dating. The expert feels happy to see how two single souls unite and start healthy relationship. Victoria keeps improving her expertise by attending workshops, seminars, and webinars, where she can exchange valuable insights and practical tips with collegues. Whether you need to enhance a dating profile, master the art of flirting, or overcome dating anxiety – Victoria is always here to help. In her free time, she likes reading, drawing, and playing tennis.
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